Golden Eyes Betray All
by OceanFall
Summary: Clary flees after learning of Jace's actions. She has her heart broken, she has her trust destroyed and she loses her sense of truth. Then, she goes through the ultimate trial, with only strangers to assist her: Motherhood. With the father oblivious, will her child grow to be the best of both of them.
1. I Before

3 years after the City of Heavenly Fire

In the brisk middle of winter, with clouds forming, letting whirlwinds of crystallised ice into the ever colder air, you can see the thriving city of New York. Businesses with their skyscrapers lit up adding to the ever changing skyline as the clouds mask the top spires from ones view. Windows of shop owners stores being claimed by the Icy trail expanding hiding their Christmas goods from view. Small stands with courageous workers making money off little souvenirs can be seen wrapped in one to many layers of clothing as they talk to the customers wild enough to enter the streets in such cold.

In the summer you would see expect to see infinite pigeons pushing to the spot where food has been thrown by some good hearted child, who is yet to discover why he is the only one performing such a foolish act. However in the harsh time of winter, pigeons cower in the flora huddled together so tightly there is no room to move except away from the fresh gust of cursed air doomed to make them that bit more uncomfortable.

And it is here, in this peculiar place tucked tightly in a corner of Brooklyn that you can find the most wonderful place. The New York institute.

To the normal mundane eye all that can be seen is a run down church with poison ivy circling. Broken windows channeling air through giving those inside the eery feeling you would expect when on a high school dare wondering through a abandoned building. What once would have been a grand arched entrance about five feet higher than it needs to be, now nothing but a stiff door in need of an oil outdone by the skyscrapers that neighbour it.

However for those lucky enough to have a little 'extra' in their blood. The perspective of such a building changes rather dramatically to the point you would have felt ashamed to have ever looked at it wrongly. Afraid that its cascading walls would move from their anchored place just to silence the words so wrongly said about it. The poison ivy still ascends the stone walls, but rather than constrict it they compliment them, like clothes to a body. Adding that texture lost by the matted walls.

The windows fitted perfectly in place, slotting their frame perfectly next to the walls without a hint of imprecision. Their coloured glass tinted in shaped blocks of many colours that form together into magnificent pictures, even a modern skyscraper has no hope to match the flawless workmanship done on such a dominant frame, each telling a story, one that whoever looked upon it would be unlikely to forget.

Adding to the already unbeatable beauty, such an elegant structure, the arched entrance. The stone around it carved to match its form, sculptures encasing it in place so correctly it would feel wrong to imagine it elsewhere placed delicately to either side yet their precision gives them the sense that they are indestructible. Then the door itself, made of an unidentifiable wood but engraved with swirls and patterns, each gives a sensation of grace and power intertwined to form the most magnificent entrance to what may as well be a castle, it truly is worthy to house royalty...

Honestly, royalty may not be much of an understatement, for the people who live in such a place do more for the world than royalty could ever hope to do. They are the line of defence for the world where most in it can not see the threat. Shadowhunters. Hundreds, near thousands of establishments similar tactically placed across the globe who hunt and kill demons sending them back to their home dimension where they can do no harm. In plain, shadowhunters protect mundanes- or just regular humans but being their obnoxious selfs they all have developed the nack for nicknaming that which they deem lesser than themselves- so basically everything.

In this particular institute there lives a fairly small family and a few friends.

The leader of the institute is Maryse Lightwood, a strong willed women with the ability to keep her head in almost every situation no matter how crazy. She has long black hair which generously flows down her back where it rests just above her hips. It is always tied to a neat ponytail or bun as to keep out of her way, although she does not fight as much as the rest as she spends all of her time directing the institute. She can come across as firm, well actually terrifying but to her friends and children she is slightly less scary. Motherly would be a slight overstatement but she does care for them. Her relationship with Robert however ended after the war- he had an affair many years ago and it was decided to stop the illusion of a happy marriage.

Her children live with her at the institute, the eldest is Alexander Lightwood although he goes by Alec. He is a tall and well built man. He has well groomed jet black hair that he shares with Maryse and his sister Isabel. He is currently very happy in a relationship with the High Warlock of Brooklyn; the one and only Magnus Bane. His clothing has changed slightly since then, a bit more style has been creeping its way in, undoubtably from Magnus. As for his sister, the one he loves more than life itself he trains and fights with alongside his parabatai Jace Herondale.

Isabel is Maryses second child, unfortunately her youngest Max tragically died in the Mortal War, it is fair to say that everyone still misses him. Izzy as she prefers has inky black hair like Alec and Maryse, although does not have a set style as she truly is known for being at one with fashion. But it is usually in long wavy locks that flow graciously down her side. Her clothing, well everything suits her and she is no stranger to spending practically five hundred dollars each week just to 'keep in date' as she likes to put it. She is in a relationship with Simon Lewis who is a daylighter as the shadowhunters put it. In short- a vampire who can walk in sunlight. Izzy is known for her spritely attitude and poor ability, well total lack of ability to cook. Her best friend is Clary Fray and everyone has the sneaky suspicion that they are going to become parabatai.

Izzy and Alec also live with their adopted brother Jace Herondale, Clary's boyfriend and Alec's parabatai. His looks along with everything else about him is angelic, and he knows it. His cocky and sarcastic comments are well know by all. He has perfectly groomed golden hair that complements his golden eyes that make practically every girl swoon before him. All except Clary, who loves him more than word themselves for who he is, which he really appreciates despite not showing it. If Alec was well built then Jace is Extraordinarily built, but not in the way that makes him look like a tank. Every one of his features is in perfect proportion from his defined jawline to his muscular body. The only fault is his chipped incisor but his signature smirk makes up for it.

Clary Fray, one of the most compassionate people you could ever meet, willing to walk to Hell and back for those she loves; which she literally did. She has fiery red hair that cascades down her back in energetic curls, but not as long as Izzy's. Some say her hair matches her creativity, although becoming a shadowhunter took away some of her time for art, in her spare time she can often be found drawing. Her family does have some 'issues' like her psychotic father and brother but they were killed in the wars. Then there's her mother, Jocelyn, the one who stole her memories for eighteen years but they worked all that out. I believe as compensation for that she is allowed to live at the institute. A separate room from Jace of course. Her height is her greatest enemy, being a little over 5 feet tall does annoy her more than once a day. Due to her psychotic 'father' she has a little more angel blood than most alike Jace, although hers allows her to create new runes to assist the shadowhunters in their battles.

So those are the residents of the New York institute, each love each other more than the mundane mind can comprehend. I suppose that is the same for most shadowhunters. Make every moment special as many die young, they are used to seeing those that they love die, but it never gets easier.

—

Moving my fanfictions to this site:)

Hope you liked the intro


	2. II What's wrong

Its funny how when your trying to imagine the circumstances of certain events that happen, they never quite turn out how you expect. That is one underrated way of stating the thoughts currently pounding throughout Clary's breaking mind. Or more importantly, her breaking heart.

**CLARY**

"Hey guys, you want anything from Taki's?" I shout through the institute making sure everyone will hear. After a few seconds Izzy shrieks a response, "ummm... of course, who do you think i am, no. wait a minute, I'm coming i need new lipstick"

"Izzy its a restaurant, they don't sell lipstick" I state matter of factly, with a smirk on her face as Izzy cascades down the stairs in a small red pixie dress that hugs her body before frilling out at the bottom. Its that dress that is just so satisfying to watch, i guess that is the look she is going for.

"Well... are we going or not?" Izzy asks with a hint of boredom in her voice, probably tired of looking at my staring, "Yea, just need to see if the boys want anything." I state elevating my voice at the end making sure that they will hear. They really are terrible at long distance communication. Izzy just stands there pouting with the hurry-up-or-i-will-drag-you-by-the-ankles-out-of-this-house look on her face. I decided that had higher motivation than waiting for the boys to grunt a response. "Ok, lets go, and I am going to ask why it is you are so keen to go to a fast food restaurant when you could be painting your nails"

"No reason" Izzy responds all to quickly for my liking

"Sooooooo" i say as I nudge Izzy on the side with a bit to much expectation in my voice

"What?" She states looking in practically every direction except the one which i am sitting. I have to say, if they had those customer improvement sheets on how to improve our shop, mine would definitely run along the lines of o my God all of your chairs feel like you are being stabbed in the back. Well that may be a bit eccentric, we got here later than usual so all the good waiting chairs were taken and we got stuck with the most uncomfortable ones imaginable. Izzy of course, had some shadowhunter talent i didn't of looking perfectly natural no matter the situation.

"You know what" i say mimicking her tone and popping the 't' just to emphasise it that bit more.

"I just wanted to get out of the institute" she says with a look that i could almost mistake for guilt, i know her, so i can say I am one hundred percent sure that she is hiding something. So i respond with a tactic i picked up from Jace over the years, "i could always ask Magnus to hide your entire makeup collection for a week." Threats, yeah that's pretty much how Jace taught me to get Izzy to talk.

"Hey, no fair, and anyways there is nothing wrong." She states with a total lack of emotion

"You're right i'm being pathetic" i say moping

"Thank y-" i seize my moment before she can finish

"I'll ask Magnus to burn it all, hiding things never quite lasts long enough" i smirk as i start to pull my phone out of my pocket smiling triumphantly at the unmissable look of horror on Izzy's face. She is well aware of how me and Magnus are good friends, like brother and sister now, so i am fully capable of performing such a crime to her makeup collection should i want to with a warlock on my side.

She lets out a sad sigh of surrender before locking her eyes on the door and says, "ok, fine, you wont like it but i'll tell you on the way home...get the food." I smile, less so than i would have imagined after my victory and twirled out of my seat to go and get the goods. I couldn't help but feel that this was more important than I originally thought.

As we sit in the car driving home in stone cold silence; i dared not to ask yet as i could see the deadly aura practically escaping her body at every movement. I tried to piece together in my mind everything of any significance that has happened so far in the last few months. Alec developed a fear of chickens, similar to Jace's fear of ducks- must be a parabatai thing. Izzy and Simon bought a pet cat to keep at Simons as he felt 'lonely' locked out of the institute when Izzy was working. Jace and Izzy did have a fight apparently, but they seem to of sorted all that out. Maryse is declaring i 'up' my training, because of my eighteen year late start i'm a little behind, especially in combat and I had to decline going to Austria with some of my old school friends, obviously i wasn't allowed to abandon saving the planet for some mundane high school reunion ridiculously far away.

So after one to many life debates and the meaning of life debates in my head of what could possible be so bad, i plucked up the courage to ask. "Alright, what ever you are trying to protect me from, don't i can handle it" i say to reassure her, "Izzy, i lived a life of lies for years, and i don't want to change back to it, no matter how bad something was, all of that led me here, and i wouldn't change it." I let out a sympathetic smile, trying to comfort whatever war is currently going on inside her head, so i decide to lighten the more with another of my sarcastic comments, believe it or not, i didn't require Jace to learn those. "How was that for a pep talk?"

"Good, ok, not really, all you did was confirm that what i know will destroy you, and you are finally my best friend Clary, I can't be the one to do that to you, to tell you what i saw." Blood was now rushing to her head that was wet with tears, lines of mascara dripping down her face. Now i was on edge, Izzy rarely cries, and when she does, like any warrior it is for a good reason, i dread what she was going to tell me. Yet i know not knowing would feel even worse. So i say what i am thinking, "Iz, whatever you saw tell me, i have a right to know, i am certain i wont hate you for telling the truth." She nods her head regaining her warrior composure and looks at me.

"Clary, I saw Jace cheating on you" A jolt ran through my body, coursing along my spine until reaching my head with the realisation of what she just said. So i spoke softly, forcing back the tears, "Okay. I n-need you to t-tell m-me everything... Izzy please, i-i h-have to know."

And so the desolation of the memories held so dear to me, given by the one i love were slowly yet surely masked with a cloud as despair rolled in. He cheated and i didn't even have the strength to find out myself.


	3. III A happy lie

In the softest and most understanding voice i think Izzy could muster she spoke "Ok, but don't interrupt, i'm sorry" i just nodded my head obediently like a small child being told off and listened. In fact to the point i was listening i could probably hear a feather drop. So she began.

"I was demon hunting with Jace at pandemonium, it was a week ago when you were visiting your old friend. We had killed a few ravenger demons and the odd drax demon when we finished up. I called to Jace to say we had done enough for the day and he just nodded and said 'Alright, i'll be back at the institute in around 2 hours, I'm going for a drink' so i let him go, you know Jace.

Anyway seeing as he was out for a while; i went over to Simons for a bit of fun. But when i got there i realised i left my soup on the kitchen cooking that i made for dinner. It was actually going quite well until i left it there burning while i was busy killing demons. I figured no one was at the institute as mum was in iris, Jace out, and Alec undoubtably at Magnus' doing Angel knows what. So i quickly got back to stop the place from burning down, i got there just in time, it had only just started turning brown though i still decided it was best to throw it away

Then Simon, being the great boyfriend he is texted saying he had to rush off to some band rehearsal for his next 'big' gig as he couldn't let the 'fans' down. After his exit from our mobile communication i just went up to my room to binge watch another one of the programs you gave me, which i do now agree they are actually quite good.

Anyway, after a while i heard the elevator click and 'strange' sound coming out from it. Thinking it was Alec and Magnus i kept quietly to my films hoping to pass unnoticed, then that's when i heard it, a girls voice hungrily saying Jace's name; at first i though you just came back from your friends early but then i heard it again, only louder.

It wasn't you Clary. I peeked out my door and crept through the door to Jace's room to see what could be happening. That's when i saw it, Jace literally tied up with some slut wrapped around him as they were half naked making out like to lovers on their last night together. It was disgusting.

I ran it over and over in my head, possibilities of what could be happening, who could have put a spell on Jace? When i realised we were in the institute, the slut couldn't be a downworlder as they can't even get in, Jace knew what he was doing and he just kept doing it anyway, running his hands up and down her like he owned her.

I couldn't be seen, i had no clue what vile things i would say to him so i just snuck away as silent as is shadowhunterly possible. If found some bench and just sat their crying, mentally debating what to do, whether to keep it to myself and let you live a happy lie; or to tell you to curse you with a truthful misery. Clary i am so so sorry if i chose wrongly." She just stopped talking, similar to how my heart had stopped beating.

At this moment my mind wasn't twisted anymore, it didn't bend and misshape as it did before as i desperately grasped to what could have happened. Through the sorrowful look of shame on Izzy's eyes a blind man could tell that she wasn't lying. So my mind wasn't twisted or bent, it was plainly and simply...broken.

I just said the words to comfort Izzy who had pools of of water rushing from her eyes as she thinks i could ever hate her. "Izzy, i meant what i said, i will never hate you." Relief rushed through her features, she was no longer drowning in tears, her mood lightened that slight bit that gave me the tiniest bit of joy. "Thank you for telling me, you did make the right choice." I could barely hear myself speak, she just nodded and wiped away some of the tears on my face like my mother used to do. And then she asked the question i had silently been dreading to answer "What are you going to do?" i just sit there silent as a rock, not processing, my mind with so many thoughts thrashing against one another and she clams me with the words i needed to here. "I will stand by you know matter what, i need you to know that" i smile for what feels like the first time in eternity. A truthful smile, acknowledging my friend.

So i think, and decide on the only action that has the chance of me making it through this the least broken on the inside as possible. "I have to leave" she just smiles sadly with only one side of her face moving up and she responds. After a long and unsettling pause, not that i am not already unsettled she replies. "Okay. I told you i will stand by you and i am a girl of my word" She says lightening the tone at the end trying to make a joke which i softly laugh to.

And so we get started, working like machines so i can leave before i have to confront him. I burn most of my stuff in a contained fire in my room with the containment rune i made, works kinda like a 360 force field. This is so no shadowhunter, or Magnus can track me. Anything i have left Izzy hesitantly helps me pack leaving no trace that i was ever here, things like my stile, sword, pencils, blank sketch pad and a photo of me, Izzy, Simon, Alec and Magnus go in, i don't have the heart to take a picture of Jace. Its not exactly like he will care anyway, he moved on before we even broke up, though i have decided to let Izzy have the 'we broke up' conversation with him after i left like the mean friend i am. The thought of that brings a slight smile.

I write a note to everyone, say, well... cry my goodbye to Izzy in person, before i draw the portal rune taking me to Angel knows where, i put a seal on it so i wouldn't end up in limbo. Hugging Izzy i pull away slowly loosing grasp of her hand as i step through to my new life. I would never ask it of Izzy to come with me, her family is here, her mother and brother. She has a life- a purpose, she knows who she is, now it is time to find mine- to find myself.


	4. IV Aftereffect

**3rd PERSON**

**After Clary leaves**

As Clary steps through the portal, releasing Izzy's hand, what seems like the entire world around them falls into a deathly silence. Izzy stood by the portal rune, her thoughts evident on her face, those of hatred and betrayal, and as she turns her soaked face it is evident to who they are felt towards.

The mighty shadowhunter, Jace Herondale, he just stands there with so many emotions rushing through him with one dominant factor, guilt. The silence so daunting as he prepares his mind for what he knows will come, what he knows that he deserves.

The silence is broken by Izzy as she whispers words only just audible. "How could you?" He lets his mouth drop as if to say an answer but thinks better of it. Raising her voice that speaks more fluidly than before, refusing to look into his eyes "HOW COULD YOU? She was my best friend, the only friend i ever had outside of our family! You broke her Jace and i hate you for it. What made you believe she wasn't good enough for you, what selfish thoughts were good enough for you to take away MY BEST FRIEND" Her voice so loud it would be surprising if all of New York didn't yelp a response in fear of her words. So much anger as her fists gripped around her whip, she uses the silence after her words to let them dig in, just to hurt him even more.

"I'm sorry" is the pathetic response he musters, the look on Izzy's entire body clearly shows she isn't satisfied with his response as her grip on her whip passed through generations of her family tightens.

"Sorry" she whimpers, "In what life, what world, what universe, what damn dimension, do you think that you can fix this with a pathetic little 'sorry' your stupid mind doesn't even mean. SHE'S GONE. She's never coming back after what you have done. Who do you think you are? You had no right, you didn't even have the dignity to tell her you didn't love her, you thought it would be better to just cheat on her."

"I do love her" he responds with so much uncertainty as if he is trying to convince himself.

"No, you don't, if you loved her you would not have even thought about cheating."

"Izzy please, i don't know why i did it just help me get her back"

"No" Izzy says with a word to back her up

"What, you said she was your 'friend' so help me get her back you know where she has gone." He pleads

"Best friend, and I don't know where she is, and i won't help you find her, i vowed not to find her and unlike your jackass self i keep my promises" slowing down on the latter part to make him feel even more guilty.

"I didn't mean to"

"You can't cheat by accident Jace, i spent days beating myself up after what i saw until i finally realised it was all your fault not mine. She had enough goodness in her to forgive me for destroying her happiness because she understood what i was going through by not telling her"

"What do you mean she understood"

"Like you care, You are not my brother and i hate you Jace Herondale!" She yells with finality before she grabs her whip and unleashes its fury, gripping his ankle she pulls his leg out from underneath him sending him flying backwards out of Clary's 'old' room.

Before she can continue beating up her ex brother she has her hands pulled behind her, as she shrieks to be let go, tears yet again falling down her face. "HE CHEATED ON HER SO SHE LEFT! He made Clary leave"

"You what?" A rough voice says as they look at Jace, Izzy realising is was Alec stops fighting as he lets her go.

Jace responds "I'm sorry Alec, i was such an idiot" he says whilst punching his fist through the wall. His parabatai looks at him with so much sorrow in that moment as Alec try's to remember his vows. Being the most level headed in the group as they realise practically half of the institute including Magnus and Simon have been watching the entirety of this hysterical episode.

Alec ends his and Izzy's part taking her hand and pulling her sobbing body away, "You can heal like a mundane, head and heart, although i'm not sure you even have both of those."

Simon and Magnus follow drearily behind each exchanging a look to jace that portrayed the i-am-going-to-beat-the-crap-out-of-you-and-then-dump-your-corpse-in-a-dumpster-because-you-don't-deserve-a-funeral-you-cheating-asshole look towards his lifeless face. Alec looks at him as they leave, searching for his parabatai, before realising he was just who he always was, believing he never changed from his days as a player.

When they finally reach a clear room, the library surprisingly, usually Maryse would be in there but it seems all of the chaos cleared the room. Simon, Clary's other best friend, simply stood still, they had a bond so strong it was unbreakable, only he was breaking. He was coming to the realisation that his best friend in all of the crazy worlds that he new was gone... and he hated Jace for it. Sorrow clearly seeping it way onto everyone's face after the initial shock of anger.

"We find her" Simon says with so much certainty you could almost believe that he was about to lead warriors to battle.

"She is like my sister, Izzy, i know you promised but we didn't, she's family, we stand for each other" Alec comments for once disbanding his usual stubbornness and narcissistic comments towards the bloodsucker, he just wanted to find his friend. There bond had also grown like ivy round a tree over the years.

"I'm with my boyfriend, besides i watched that fiery red head grow up for years, i'm not about to stop now. Izzy, i know you will keep your promise, but i have a talent for loopholes, you don't have to help us, but you don't have to stop us." He says with a smirk of genius creeping onto his face towards the end.

"Ok, keep me up to date, i'll tell Jocelyn and Luke" she says frowning. "Lets find her"

It is in these moments that you finally realise, no matter how strong you tell yourself that you are, that everything is bound together in links and moments. When a link is broken, it affects them all, you can't replace it, you can't just put another one in place. It was unique, formed in a moment that will never happen again. You can only try to remember it, but that is where time plays its part, the longer you go without a jolt, a spark to put that line to use again, the weaker the link becomes. What used to be so easy to picture, to see all about a person, that luxuary starts to fade.

They say that the first thing you forget about a person, is their voice, you can remember their smile and the way they look but not their voice. So it becomes a matter of holding on to their laugh, their little quotes you would never admit to enjoy hearing, to tell yourself everyday since they go that you will see them again, because that will be all the hope that you can cling to.

Clary was not just a link, she was the spark that ignited so many happy memories, so they agree to never stop looking, however long it takes they refuse to let her memory fade. She is a connection in each off their minds that binds so many others. Strong enough for Izzy to break her vow, she knows Clary won't be mad because they practically know each others thoughts.

No matter what happens they stand together

"Agreed" they sound in harmony. United.


	5. V Limbo

You know the feeling you get when you fall over, the infinite number of thoughts being processed in your head on what to do. How do i fall? Do i catch myself? When do i get up? I suppose going through a portal leads to thoughts with similar characteristics. As i step through into my new life, all i can think about is my old one, how wrong it went, how much i lost to a man who i loved more than i ever loved another. How i saw his eyes the split second before i stepped through, guess he got my letter huh.

In that moment, where his gold and my green met, i could finally see it all, the shrouded water cleared as my eyes flooded with salty tears that ran down my face. I could see what he had done, the look of guilt plastered across his face, it may as well have been a banner saying 'Hey Clary, I cheated on you with some random shadowhunter.' I thought in that second what i could have been, who i could have become with him by my side, how happy i was, believed i always would be.

I guess that's the thing about love, it made me think of the quote i learned many years ago from my favourite poem. "S**he's** br**ok**en **because** s**he** be**lie**ve**d**", that one line, hidden meanings, memories buried under a mask, I'm broken because i believed in a man who abandoned all we had built.

I expected him to come running, grab me by the arm and beg me too stay, yet all that coward did was stand there, stand there and watch the girl he had claimed to love shatter to pieces, he just stood there, looking me in the eyes, and you know what i saw, i saw pity. Pity for himself, that cheater pity's himself after what he did. How dare he, what right does that cheating coward have to feel that for himself.

So i walk.

I walk through the veil, letting Izzy go, letting everyone go. And in that moment, i claim my life to be my own, i show him he does not control me. He's ok because he lied. I leave him with that, I leave him to live with what he has done, as he leaves me to stick my pieces back together.

I go through having only one constant thought in my head, one word to guide me to hope, one word that has the only hope of fixing me.

Freedom.

I need to erase the past, so i leave the bags behind, take only myself to my new life. It will take time, maybe more than I have, but i will try to become worthy. Worthy enough so that will never happen to me again, so one day, one day i can look him in the eyes again, see into his soul, see all that i once saw. And Jace, you know what i will do, what i will spend the rest of my miserable life you cursed upon me learning to do,

i will look away, and by all that i have left, i swear that i will never look back.

I know i will never stop loving you, but i know that i have stopped trusting you.

Closing my eyes ready to embrace the new world before me, i land, a perfect land. A little dizzy but easily manageable. Opening my eyes i look to see the most beautiful sight one could ever dream to behold.

In that moment, i let all that i have been holding in out, i fall to my knees sending a jagged jolt through my body and scream. If my tears were a lake before, now they are the ocean, vast and ever growing. My head pounds from my face that just has a dull ache from all my crying. My heart, where to begin, i'm not sure there is much of one left to feel pain for. But it still manages to send searing emotion through my body, channeling through my bursting veins as i just lie there. Completely and utterly...Broken.


	6. VI New World

In that moment, i let all that i have been holding in out, i fall to my knees sending a jagged jolt through my body and scream. If my tears were a lake before, now they are the ocean, vast and ever growing. My head pounds from my face that just has a dull ache from all my crying. My heart, where to begin, i'm not sure there is much of one left to feel pain for. But it still manages to send searing emotion through my body, channeling through my bursting veins as i just lie there. Completely and utterly...Broken.

**CLARY**

Im not really sure how much time has passed since i came through the portal, i am equally unsure of my whereabouts as to where the portal took me. I have just been lying, frozen in my own little bubble of time until i find it within myself to move.

As i steer my view around, searching for threats like a shadowhunter, while the mundane part of me just admires the extraordinary view that has come before me. I guess my imagination didn't hold back when i thought of freedom.

I have read about places like this in the institute library, these locations shadowhunters must protect despite there being hardly any mundanes. You can think of it as stopping tributaries from feeding a river that feeds the sea, just in this case, the water is metaphorical for demons.

The area around me is vast and changing, most certainly as far from the city as you can get. In fact, through the watery veil of my eyes i can only see one building like structure, from its magnificence it doesn't take a lot to guess it is probably the institute of this area.

My eyes slowly start to clear as i run out of ears to cry as i take in all of the nature, i'm born in the city and raised, so i don't think i've ever seen this many plants or trees in one place, and each and every on of them are equally beautiful.

There are tall trees that tower over all; probably hundreds of years old, making this wondrous place have a sense of wisdom, then there are the smaller plants, flowering with every colour possible, i can tell i will be spending a lot of my time here outside drawing to my own content.

Letting my warrior side take over, i decide to push back all of my emotions to the back of my head and think what it is i will do next. If i cry much more i might just turn into a broken toy, i refuse to be that again.

I could go to the institute, they would offer me a place to stay in return for me helping them out, but then they would ask who i am and why i am there, i don't think going through all of that all over again is a very good idea. Beside they might just send be back, or inform 'certain people' of where i am. That was definitely not the purpose of this new start.

So i am decided, i will head out on my own, i'm not going to go all Tarzan and fight tigers in the Jungle but i can make my own here for a while until i come up with something more permanent. I can see there must be demons here due to the institute so it will be a perfect location to train and become strong.

When i am done i will be the strongest, i promise myself that.

This heart isn't coming out for anyone else. Well, all but one, there is that other 'dilemma' only Izzy knows about. That would be the small fact that i am currently pregnant with Jace's child.

The universe really does just like to make thing really awkward for me, i do love my child, that is just about the only thing that i am currently certain of.

**3 MONTHS LATER**

Running like my life depends on i weave in and out of the trees, catching branches against my skin each leaving their own mark that stings like hell. I had gone to a known demon location to raid, practice my fighting, its safe to say i have become a lot better since i got here.

When i throw my blade now it hits its mark every time. I am confident with my skills, i know longer have expectations to live up to so i am free to learn in my way. Which works.

I came up with a rune to ensure my baby's safety, it tells me their health by glowing, black means all is good, but the brighter it glows means i need to be careful, if in battle it got bad, i made a failsafe, teleportation back to my base where i also had a rune to, just to ensure my baby was always ok. I will always protect mini me with everything that i have, i guess now i know how my mother felt.

And so the failsafe takes action just before i fall to the ground taking me to safety. I did not expect these demons, i don't even know what they are but when i hit them they just wouldn't die. Like that had an immunity to my seraph blade. I have read lots of the New York institutes books and i had never even heard mention of demons such as these.

That's when the pain starts, i realise one of them had got me on the leg, bitten straight through my sore flesh down to the bone. Poison evidently flowing through my body, the institute wont be able to help a wound this bad. That i know for fact, even a warlock can't help me, not without a price i couldn't pay or just to their lack of skill.

I search my aching mind for a rune as all the pain does is amplify, every move like a shock and the rune on my arm starts to glow brighter, its not faded which means my baby is alive, but not for long if i can not get myself out of this situation that traps me.

Suddenly a picture plays its tune in my mind, a rune to help me heal, i can tell i wont heal it all, but I don't think any rune ever would heal the fiery pain stabbing through my leg.

As i weakly trace the rune onto my upper leg, right next to the gash in an awkward hunched position, fading out of consciousness i fall into darkness.

NO

No no no

That's all i can think to myself, i didn't finish...it won't heal. I killed my child before they even lived. I am a monster who condemned their baby to death.

I am loosing hope, even that small amount i didn't know i had that sparked when i thought of the rune, the small chance of survival that can be snatched away so easily. If i don't wake up soon,it will be too late.

Then i hear words play around me, inside my head hitting of the walls, they reignite that feeling of hope inside of me i haven't felt in a long time, there is a chance. Someone is here, my child has a chance and i will use it.

I force my eyes open with every ounce of strength that i have and i mutter the words "help", before a fall out of sync with the world all over again i catch a glimpse of a man. Just a silhouette but i don't care at this moment.

I feel his arm grip around me as my limp body is pulled from the ground; he tells me all that I needed to hear in my helpless state, "you are going to be okay, i promise", and then every one of my senses fall back into darkness. Kinda reminds me of Jace when we met, but i have decided to try and not think of him, despite my dying thoughts subconsciously focused on him before i can remember what he did to me, and his child.

"What do we tell her"

"Everything, she is one of us"

"We can't exactly tell her everything at once"

"I Don't know, we haven't done this In a while"

"Why don't we show her, tell her everything but make sure she knows that she has a choice"

My eyelids pound the beat of my strengthening pulse against my eyes, closed for now as i just begin to climb back into consciousness. I try to stay silent for as long as i can to eavesdrop on their conversation, but my failing ears are doing a truly appalling job to decipher their careful whispers. So like any good warrior, i give up and let out a fairly loud sigh.

Their heads finally spinning round is what i can see when i squint my heavy eyes open. Surprised by the outburst of light hitting my pupils. Trying my best to quickly adjust to my new surroundings i survey the room looking at any thing of interest.

In front of me i can see tall built figures with peculiar glances on their faces that i find myself unable to decipher in the slightest. I seem to be lying on some sort of medical bed, though i must say they should probably update as i can feel the springs and lumps of material digging into my back.

I gasp, how could i have been so arrogant, taking so long to remember, what does that make me? "my baby" i sound under my breath bringing my arm into my eyes view. "Thank the Angel" i mutter seeing the rune a clear black colour telling me my child is alright. I am certain i can not take another heartbreak any time soon.

I have made sure to put walls with reinforced concrete up inside my head and heart. No Jace is getting inside, but seeing him wont help. I have decided to offer my child the chance to see their father if they ask, i have no right to take that away, but only when they understand and i have told them the truth. I wont repeat my mothers mistakes.

Then i divert my mind and body back to thee task at hand, checking my leg discreetly so not to look weak, thankfully there isn't ungodly pain coming from there any more though there is a rather grotesque scar, two ragged crescent moon shapes where the teeth sunk in. I turn my green eyes upwards looking at the dominating figures and ask the most predictable question imaginable to all of human, shadow, Angel and demon kind like the strategic person that i am.

"Who are you..."


	7. VII LunaThorns

**CLARY**

Well after they great line i mentally face palm myself, why didn't i go for some technical line to make myself seem stronger and not some pathetic little girl. Well, never mind, i suppose i am curious enough to want and need to know the answer. After that I'll ask to check my child. I can see her lying in a crib next to me, but that does not mean that I don't want to check that she is okay.

So now i just lie there awkwardly seeing if they are going to reply, it must have been at least 10 seconds since i asked the question.

Then, out of the blue, they start to systematically raise their hands one by one telling me their are, as if they have done this to total strangers a thousand times before, i did notice they only started when the brown haired guy nodded an ok to them though. He must be the leader.

"Hey there fire, the names Ayato", that was the first name i was given, i suppose 'fire' came from the colour of my hair. The voice came from the far person, he had red and brown hair as far as i could tell, predominantly brown though. His eyes were brown and his body painted with runes. "Hi", was my almighty response to move the heavens. He finished me off with a wink before the next raised their hand, at least by now my vision had stopped blurring and i could make everything out much better.

"Hey there, call me Kei, I'm his brother, twin, you can probably tell. Hope you have a pleasant stay." The boy next to Ayato said, and he was right, they were practically parallel in stature, only their runes and his hazel eyes allowed me to differentiate between them.

Next, the only girl other than myself in the room came forward, she had the most precious hair, it was silver flowing graciously all the way to her hips in gentle locks. I could see it was layered, and feathered around her face, but it had the most natural look to it.

"Hi there, nice to have another girl in the ranks, My names Silver. I'm sure that you don't find that at all ironic" she lets out with a little giggle at the end. Sure enough, runes patterned her body as well.

Now there was only one person left, from his earlier nodding i figure that he must be the leader. He has brown hair and blue eyes with gentle features. "I'm Jack, team leader, Silver's second in command, i run this party with the four of us. But i guess that looking to be more like six. Oh, this parade is called the LunaThorns by the way." He says as he peers over to me and my daughter.

"What do you mean by 'six'" i questioned,

"You've impressed us, most hunters would not have lasted 10 seconds against demons of their class" he testified

"I didn't exactly win" I stated coldly, disappointed with myself

"You couldn't have, you don't have the right weapons, its like trying to fight a roaring fire with a child's dagger using the traditional seraph blades" I suppose that made me feel better

"So how did you..." i was cut off

"With this" he pulled out the most beautiful blade that i have ever seen, its grace and power were without bounds just from looking at it, like it had a celestial aura.

"It's beautiful" he stopped, flat. That smirk he was holding stopped in surprise, but I'm not sure why.

"You, you're not scared of it, of us" he asked with desperation in his tone

"Why should i be, pretty stupid to be scared of the guy who just saved you and you're childs life. Thanks for that, by the way" i figured that was a good a thank you as any.

"No problem, well guys what do you think? I'm game" he openly asked to his teammates

"Looks good to me" Kei answered

"Be fun to have a little more fire around" Ayato, yet again, referenced to my hair

"Being the only girl around all of your hormones is getting pretty annoying". Silver stated

"Well then what do you think, want to join us. It will be hard, The demons that we fight are much stronger than any you faced in the past. You'll have to learn fast, but we can help keep you and your child safe. All you got to do is join is speak two things: First, your current name, like the ones we just told you, and doing that will make you one of us, but after that, we can only speak those names to each other, can't have anyone knowing our identities. Second, your alias. But these are already taken: Ayato goes by Blaze; Kei is Moon; Silver chose Luna and mine is Thorn. So if you want to join, that's all you have to do, it will bind you as one of us, and you child is free to stay and join up if she wants, we can help teach her to be strong. It will be fun to have a kid around."

I am not going to lie, i was not expecting this, when i showed up at the New York institute, i was weak, no one wanted me to fight. Here, they want me by their side, and my child. I can keep her safe. Thinking of her, i still haven't picked out a name, i guess if i do join she will get two...

Its a way to be strong, ensure that i can protect her. So i have made my mind. I, Clarissa Fairchild am going to join the LunaThorns.

They asked for an alias, what would mine be. I like their theme, it has a hunters tone to it. Well, i've just run from my past, into a new life, so something to represent that. To show what i will become, the boundaries i intend to climb, i need that part of me to be shown. That's it, when is the best time to paint a picture, to start a new landscape and wash colour on to a blank canvas. To me, that has always been the setting sun on each day. Waiting for the new light to rise. That's it then. Here we go.

"My name is Clarissa Fairchild, but please just call me Clary."

"Ok then, you want to join, what about your alias?" He questioned. That's easy, i think to myself. The words that represents me. So i answer:

"Dusk".


	8. VIII Runes

That was it, that was my answer, who i am and want to be combined into one word. Dusk, a rising sun to raise my daughter with, a mother who she can grow to be proud of.

I decided it would be best to ask what would happen next, as any person trying their best to be sane would do. I asked directed at the leader, his name was Jack, right? "Jack, what happens now?"

"We get you ready, time to learn to fight" he responded,

Ayato then kicked in with a signature smirk "hey fire, don't forget, call us by our alias when we are out on missions or around anyone."

"Well then, were all thinking the same thing now the aren't we?" Kei, well moon, openly asked looking around. His gaze was followed by a series of smirks and nods form the other LunaThorns.

"Time to get my girl a weapon" Silver spoke.

"Ok, but i already have seraph blades, and you should probably know that i can make my own runes, I'm not a defenceless little girl"

"Looks like you have more fire in your soul than in your hair, my little flame" Ayato commented on my witty remarks

"I understand you are powerful for a normal shadowhunter. And those runes of yours can definitely come in handy. But the LunaThorns are different. We don't just hunt in the shadows, fighting against their darkness like you are used to. We run with them; we learn their secrets and do what job we have been hired to do. Our job is to hunt demons, we will always do that, but we take paid jobs as well, like the warlock world but only if we agree with them. We fight with our pride and honour.

To do that though, you are going to need a weapon..."

Jack finished that last bit of with a smirk before guiding me to huge archway with golden trails, i am definitely going to paint that one day. He opened it with both sides unveiling a grand weapons room.

The sight before me puts the New York institute to shame, the weapons look laced and refined, graceful yet powerful and almost every variety i can name meets my eye.

Each group of weaponry is sectioned under a image, no, a rune. I can feel their dominating power that gives each weapon its strength, but their new, none even i have seen before.

After an overly in depth explanation from the four, i learned each rune and its meaning

REVIVE- Allows you to gain the power of a fallen demon, requires that you killed it. Allows one life to be returned a day however you sleep in nightmares for a month after using it so it's not for frequent use.

STRENGTH- Make you as inhumanely strong as your body can manage when you activate the rune, it allows you to handle more heavy duty weapon forms.

SUMMON- A spirit type suited to you can be summoned at any time, requires a drop of your blood and it does slowly drain you of energy depending on the level of the creature summoned

ELEMENTAL- At any time you can control the elements, you are usually at preference to one but can manipulate any. The rune does not need to be activated, but it leaves a constant null pain where it is put

WISDOM- Allows you to see into any circumstance, places you have seen are never forgotten and you can gain access to ancient histories at the cost of one memory- but it does not have to be extreme.

STRIKER- This allows you to fire from an ancient weapon type, the main weapon you use can only be used by you and those you let use it. Its power and grace is insurmountable. Sort of like a futuristic ray. Though there is a slight recoil...

ACCURACY- Placed on the dominant arm of the user, it ensures you never miss a target, pretty self explanatory. The cost is that it requires a price every year, you must give blood to some alter in the weapons room. I don't think that i will go for that one.

SPEED- Allows you to move so fast it feels like time has slowed, it does not drain you of much energy alternate to what you would first think. But you have to train your mind to keep up.

i wonder which ones the others use. I'll ask them once i have chosen. I am well aware that I don't want to give blood to an alter every year, so that takes out accuracy. I don't really want to remember everything i ever see, or have seen. Strength and revival both seem to take a fast and hard hit to the body. Somehow I don't think speed is my specialty if my training at New York taught me anything. They said to pick two so that just leaves...

"Elemental and Summon, those are the runes that i want to learn." I declare

"Alright then, Ayato and Kei both match up to at least one of your choices, and they seem to slack off the most so I'll assign them as your primary teachers, though we will all help out. Kei train in the mornings and kei you take the evenings, usual schedule" Jack commands the twin

"Thanks" i shyly say as to causing so much trouble

"Don't thank us, that are unspoken rule, friends should never have to say thank you to one another, they shouldn't have to" Ayato chimes in with a serious voice, almost overlooked by his smirk. Training with him is definitely going to be an experience.

"I'll show you to your room, this way" Silver spoke with a leading arm, "room for the child to don't worry, I'll send the others grocery shopping for you" she added. I couldn't help but to giggle at that, considering our location being in the middle of a jungle. I really should ask why that is i think as i take my child to follow her lead to the depths of the institute.

About 50 turns later, and I'm not joking, we reach a series off room connected by beams in the heights of the institute. It seems the wild of the jungle shines through everywhere here. With the treehouse like feel with connecting vines.

"Well here we are, the complex maze of this place wont take you too long to get used to. Its for defence in case of an attack. The rooms though, are just for a bit of fun, looks cool though, you told me you were an artist, i can tell you the views are great. This is your room, get settled in, Ayato will collect you at 5am tomorrow for training, its late now so get some rest."

Its about midnight I'd say, most likely later, i can hear the others turning in for the night. Two thoughts on my mind, i really need to train, and it really is about time i came up with a name for my daughter.


	9. IX Hollow Time

Thump, a sudden act of anti gravity hits me as i begin to stir from sleep. I miss the days of lying in bed for hours. Turns out having a child requires you to drag your limp body out of bed at least five times a night. Realising a tiny baby in a cradle can't cause a bed to jump i focus into awareness.

"Ayato, why can't your talent be teaching me how to sleep instead of murder demons" I murmur sarcastically

"Well, I'm just to handsome, you don't want to miss gazing at my face just for a few moments of sleep." He retorts. I decide to just nod in agreement as i go to check on Skylar, Sky for short. I thought of a name for her two weeks into my stay here. It seemed fitting, whenever i turned my head she would always gaze at the sky, point to is as if she wished to go there. So we all agreed it was only fair to bring the sky down to her.

It been one year now, i can use the runes of elemental and summon. In terms of elemental, i specialise in fire just like Ayato does, but i am also very skilled with the air and manipulating the weather. Although there have been a few incidents of thunderstorms when i have had a bad day. On my first one, Ayato forgot to mention that elemental runes also tied with our emotions. I zapped him with a thunderbolt after that. I'm also pretty handy with all of the elements, but i lack Ayato's unparalleled ability to control the earth we walk on.

Kei was and is the one teaching me to summon. Those long lessons seem even longer than Ayato's as they come second, sometimes dragging my sore body through to midnight.

Currently i can summon two types, which is the limit as i only have two hands. It requires you to sign a contract with the type of animal you are summoning. I had to write my name in blood on the hand i wish to summon them with. The amount of power i have determines the power and size of what i can summon. A few weeks ago, i finally managed to reach the highest rank summoning, though i don't plan on using it frequently as it drained me of strength like a washcloth.

My summoning creatures are different form Kei's, his low level summon for everyday purposes is a river hawk, a half demon creature capable of gliding underwater with ease. They are good fun to be around, all summons can talk so it does make for interesting dinner conversations. His higher level summon for dangerous and important situations is an alicorn- i know its unreal. But i will say this now, they are beautiful with a pointed horn that can infuse both their own and Kei's power into one resulting in any magic they want to be possible.

Me on the other hand, my first is a swift pixie, known for their speed and smarts, wise creatures that are also lots of fun. Sometimes i summon them just to talk, we are all like a family; they can also pull a few crafty tricks like fusing through walls and muting their presence. My high level summon is a beta dragon, i definitely don't want an alpha. Beta dragons i can summon come in the types that match my elemental magic, but because they have so much power, i can only summon those five. They are like horses for the air that make truly awe inspiring conversation as we are about to nose dive into demon territory.

On one mission i was riding Mist into our mission and she straight up asked, "Hey, you ever want to see Jace again, you know, that handsome fellow who cheated on you" Right there i froze and fell right off her back into oblivion. If Jack hadn't caught me I'm not sure what i would have done. Our bodies might be as hard as demon steel, but a fall like that would likely have left a scratch with one hell of a sting.

Although, i am proud to say i am finally starting to move on from Jace, i still think of him a lot, but with the LunaThorns by my side, i know now that i need nothing more than that. I would follow each of them to the depths of hell if they asked, honestly i might even consider becoming evil if they wanted me to. Not that they would ever ask.

We've taken on more than a few jobs together, some demon hunting ones out of fun, others due to the ridicously high pay- a single mum deserves to live in luxury. Other jobs usually include taking the portal to whichever Downworld rave one of us has been missing at for slightly too long.

We tend to stay out of each others social lives, let each other have the odd "fun" night out. I have had a few but only for mission purposes. I am not going to lie, sometimes the six of us pair up and sleep in each other's beds for comfort. Nothing fishy like romantic, just because it's nice to have someone by your side. Kinda like me and Simon used to be.

I haven't thought about New York in quite some time now, I don't think of it as home anymore so there is no point in dwelling on it. Sure I miss everyone, and a catch up session wouldn't hurt, after all my friend there never hurt me, he did. I have nothing but respect and a debt of gratitude to the rest of them. Not that i will go back to tell them that, i just have to focus on the here and now raising my beautiful daughter.

**4 true years later**

Its strange, time moves differently to us, in gaining the runes of a LunaThorn, i gained immortality, i can look how i wish. Not only that, I discovered there is a rune over the bases archway that slows time to us, while i have been here a year to the outside world, we call those true years as to not confuse ourselves, i have been training here for 4 1/2 years now. Immortality truly does allow me to look however i wish.

Skylar truly has grown into a beautiful young lady, by my count in the base, she looks and is 18 years old. She chose to accept the runes and fights alongside us. She uses the name Wisp on the missions and specialises in speed and wisdom, she gets on well with Jack as he shares both those traits. I should probably explain who specialises in what:

Ayato = Blaze - Striker & Elemental

Kei = Moon - Summon & Accuracy

Jack = Thorn - Speed, Strength & Wisdom

Silver = Luna - Revive, Striker & Wisdom

Me = Dusk -Elemental & Summon

Skylar = Wisp -Speed & Wisdom

Over the years Skylar has become an exceptional fighter, she has my talent to create runes but they can go a little wrong sometimes as she needs a little more practice. She has the most precious blond hair, dyed with hints of red to match mine. She has lighted golden eyes, whether she got that from me or Jace is a mystery, well I know that's not true, her best factor is definitely her cooking, I don't know how we survived without her, i know all of us agree to her over takeout any time.

A few years ago, I worked up the gut to ask her if she wanted to meet her father. She replied with, "Tell me why he is not by our side right now and i will answer", quite a mature response if i say so. I sat her down for about two hours and explained our entire history. Right down to the tearful ending where my eyes dampened without my intention. I was supposed to be strong for my daughter i told myself. She replied telling me she had no intention of meeting a man capable of such things. At that moment I let out a sigh i had no clue i was holding in.

I suppose Jace is only five years older than he was when i left, i sniggered at the thought, his own daughter was catching up to his age, i think of him much more as a past memory nowadays, so my spite often turns to hilarious scenarios. My favourite is Skylar transforming into a five year old when we first meet, and explains to him In in grown up terms that she is his abandoned daughter. Only to be round-housed in the face, looking back and seeing a smirking sixteen year old. That would be something. Though I'm not sure he would believe her after that.

I still had the necklace he gave me on my birthday years ago, one where he had a matching chain on his neck. Its a long emerald crystal on the end of a black fibre. Seeing as it wasn't some cheesy romantic pendant i gave it to Skylar as a was to distantly know her father, she wears it, but more as a promise to stay away rather than a tearful reminder of what she never had. In fact, to those who do not know her, she comes across as an emotionless killing machine for demons. But for the five of us, she is a sentimental keepsake, loving nature and forever following her dream to see all of the sky. She often goes out on one of Kei's River Hawks or my Dragons to see what she dreams to reach the top of.


	10. X Peer into the Past

"Hi mom, you ready. It's time to kick some demon ass. The bets still running" Sky called out to me.

"Oh yeah, I'm ready, ready to win" i say smirking at the end

This bet, we run it each year, whoever takes out the most demons can ask anything of each LunaThorn. One year, Shadow was forced to sing country music on top of the Eiffel Tower at top volume. That was the year Kei won. By far the one i will not let win is Ayato, he has, lets say, a dirty mind. He has respect but can...lack restraint. I'll leave it at that.

"Dusk, we need to talk about the mission" Jack sternly tells me with his eyebrows pointed so i note his serious tone. "I know it's been a while, and a memory you want to forget, but New York needs help, demons only we can defeat have been sighted and are causing trouble"

...I take a breath, a short and sharp one, in it each one of my memories is brought back inside by clouded head, remember the emerald chain my daughter wears... His daughter. The father she chose not to meet. "I understand. Our duty before emotion attached to our pasts, i wont lose sight of that vow."

"Thank you" Jack whispers softly, trying not to startle my busy head.

"I will go and let Skylar know, we have to pack as well, it wont take long though. I wonder how she will react, I'll have t-"

"You wont have to do anything mom, i can keep sane, don't worry. I don't mind if he knows or not, we'll come back here afterwards and he'll be gone again, that's how i want it. I wont forgive how he betrayed your spirit." Skylar came as she gracefully swooped down from the ceiling beam she must have been drowning on again.

Jack made the call that it was time to leave as this was between mother and daughter. Although in a way, everyone here Sky sees as her family, hundreds of year old brothers and a sister. As do i.

I need to tell her that she comes first, to make sure she isn't giving up any of her life for me. "Sky, what If you like him when you meet him, even if he doesn't know who you are, you do. I don't want to you to live with that."

"if he asks, we can tell him. But I'd rather not. I can see the way you gaze into the sky at night, how you long to reach something beyond what you can see. You can hide it, but the impossible reach of that star still hurts you, i love you, i can see it. He wont figure it out anyway, I'm eighteen, its pretty impossible...

... anyway, I've noticed, in all these big cities we've been to. The lights cover up the stars, the depth in space i love to reach, the city hides it, i can't love a place like that. Shrouding a beautiful scatter of stars, the spirit i belong to is weaker there." She sighs a sad smile at the loss of nature.

"I know, while were there lets paint... lots of stars and dreams like we have back here, fill the canvas with them. Her face brightens to a wide and forward smile. Then she's up the beams again and gone leaving a shout of "I'll be packed in ten".

"Not everyone has the speed rune Skylar..." i yell after her realising i need at least half an hour to find my stuff in this palace.

**1 hour later...**

"Alright fire, portal us up" Ayato charms.

"Does that actually make grammatical sense" I wonder out loud

"Hey fire don't burn to bright, don't want to singe my 200 years older than you worth of treasured knowledge" he obnoxiously states.

"170 years older, roughly. Do the math, not that I'm too sure" Seeing as we all have immortality, we kinda gave up counting the years, more like rounded them near to where we think we are. I mean, Jack is on 900, Silver's on 800, who in what realm or dimension has the time or determination to squeeze and squash that many candles on a cake. All I know is that we have a big party each century for each birthday. That lowers the costs a little bit. Not that money matters.

With all of the jobs we have taken on as mercenaries over 900 years, and keeping it all in one account for everyone, we are literally millionaires. When we make it into the billions, we donate the exceeding amount to orphanages and animal trusts. To save those who escaped us as best as we can. All of us have lost over the years, so it was agreed that that would raise everyone's heavy heart a little.

I use my stele to draw the portal rune directed inside the institute. "Hey, i wonder, would it be fun to come down from every angle rather than knocking on the front door..." i see a cumulative series of smirks and that gives the answer.

You see, as i can create runes, mine are also a little more powerful and can do what others can't. With one portal, i can drop people off in different places and angles, good for infiltration missions.

With the golden gleam of dancing light, a circle is carved into the realms of reality, crackling sounds of splitting shards that trace the edges, a dark abyss leading to a limbo word, and a simple step in front is the place i grew up. Where i can find Simon, hug Izzy, Smile to Alec and Magnus once more, and recognise those golden eyes i see every day in my daughter. How their similarity pains me. Her soft golden glance, his dominating presence, father and daughter. My foolish past.

What do i do when i see them again, Izzy let me go, But I left the others. I left no smile, no voice for them to remember. I've already forgotten theirs, its been eighteen years. All i can remember is his, why his. I want the warm welcoming voice of my best friend, not the Dirty cheater. I want the smile of the great Magnus, not the smirk of the golden hawk. I want the warmth of Alec, his reassuring words. I want Izzy's advice, her talks, so why are they all going blurry i my head, why can i only remember the last one, the one where she broke my spirit, and broke herself doing it? All the fear, why now? Can't Jace just let me be. "Jace". That's the first time I've said his name aloud in years, it had stutter on the 'J'. I spoke it like starlight into the portal, right where he is. Probably beside another girl, one he kept by him, one he loved, unlike me.


	11. XI Welcome home, Stranger

...Step, Kei

...Leap, Ayato, the two brothers

...Pace, Jack

...Stride, Silver, the leaders

Right behind me, Skye is waiting, waiting for me to be who she deserves, strong. To go through the portal.

Push...And I'm through, followed by her.

In the stages of limbo I can't see anything, it's all one clouded abstract painting, with a eclipse of light at the end, guiding me. It's like travelling back in time, its been 18 years for me, 5 for them. I may not have aged, but i have changed. My hair's darker, being a LunaThorn means I don't get my hair lightened by the sun all that much, it is kinda in the name though. My face, it's more defined, crisper, harsher. My clothes, I don't wear casual clothes much, only at the institute back home, out here on missions, I don't trust being unprepared.

I need to get my head together, battle speak. Use the correct names, Blaze not Ayato, Moon for Kei, Leader goes by Thorn, Second is Luna, And my daughter, Wisp. I should... probably remember to respond to Dusk.

I was asked if we wanted to go in cloaked, i said yes so the whole situation was not to overwhelming, Wisp agreed with that decision. I suppose you could say it is also a tradition of the LunaThorns. We do like our grand entrances if i say so myself.

Well, i guess it's time to see what happens then.

Crackle, we're here.

Blaze and Moon come in the grand entrance from the sides, check the surroundings for any issues. Sharply followed by the nearby gazes of those nearby in the institute. Maryse is there to meet us along with the rest of the institute, although i doubt that she knows i am here. We never tell our clients much, they're not worth the trouble.

Luna comes from the rear strengthening the formation, and being the leader he is, Thorn parades himself at the front. Moments after earning the strangers gazes he takes a bow, the kind that's just for show waving his hand to his chest. He really is a child enjoying the attention making toys of the weak. Although his signature smirk is pretty awesome i have to admit.

Wisp and I Drop from the ceiling and stand on the support beams. I have to say I feel quite powerful up here, i can see why Wisp spends so much time here, you feel powerful, i think with a smirk that she clearly saw, letting out an innocent unheard giggle.

"I think it's safe to say they know we are hear." Thorn; to their view, a heavenly armed assassin in a dark cloak says to himself. We really are causing a scene. He looks around to check we are all in formation before taking a few steps forward clapping his feet each time to emphasise our dominant presence. They need to recognise we are not on equal ground.

"Welcome to the New York Institute, we are grateful that you replied to our call for assistance with the demons." Maryse says as an act of formality with an iron voice. I have to admire her guts, half the other shadowhunters are sweating with unease if I'm not mistaken.

"Hhehe" i hear moon laugh abruptly. Like lightening i cover my mouth with my hand and start hitting my head. In my panic i totally forgot we took insights wing that allows us to communicate with telepathy for the next month.

This is why i hate these pills, I'm terrible at controlling when i send group messages. Once i even group shared "i wonder why ants don't have hair", i never thought that was apparently fascinating enough to me to tell everyone. Moreover, Jack was in the middle of a seductive mission and ended up spitting a drink all over a greater demon. That's a fun memory I'd rather forget.

"Dusk, could you please stop trying to make me have a fit with your life memories in the middle of our introduction" Everyone singles me out with a humiliating stare.

"Shit" well that's pretty much all i can say.

"Fire, such language should not be used in the presence of clients" Ayato chimes for the sole purpose of poking fun. Not that i mind, this familiar scene is making me more comfortable in this... demanding environment. I can see him, those golden eyes, piercing me from the corner of my eye. I suppose shouting shit probably caught everyone's attention.

Sky places her hand on mine, comforts me, like the raft i need to float. I really do love her.

Well then, on with the introductions...

"I am Thorn, the leader of the LunaThorns, we will defeat the demons for you. Provide us with rooms, food to cook with and pay us. That's all we ask and your demon problems will be solved." He's not usually this harsh, but i suppose my past here means he is a little spiteful in regard for my feelings.

Maryse, poor woman is a little taken aback, not that i have too much sentiment for anyone here anymore. I care for the LunaThorns and them alone. Honestly, if they asked me to be evil, i would follow them, that's how much this wonderful group of people mean to me.

While Maryse attempts to lay out rules like 'don't kill anyone', and 'keep explicit actions outside'. That one was followed by smirks. I can say everyone here has their moments with that kind of thing. The only other significant rule was one we set, 'no one in the training room from 5am to 11am', that gives us 6 hours in the morning to train, not ideal, but good enough.

"These are the institutes strongest fighters, and i am hoping that they can learn some skills from you. I am willing to give extra time in the training room if you use it to teach them"

"If you double the payment, we're not cheap" Jack closes

"Very well" gobsmacked, that's my expression, 'well done jack' i sarcastically send to the group. I have to say though we never thought they would add a cent to the amount they are already paying us.

"This is Isabelle Lightwood, my daughter, my son Alec Lightwood and adopted son Jace Herondale"

The three of them step forward i can see them clearly for the first time, each of us has our gazes fixed on them. Izzy's long hair is braided to one side, emitting a warrior feel, but her presence is weak, i suppose everyone of theirs is, they can't do what we do. They are weaker, the tables have turned from what they used to be. I can take down each of them without even trying, that's what it is to be a LunaThorn. What that golden glance did to me.

Alec is in the middle, hands turned to fists with Magnus stood behind him. Not sure why he is in the institute but it is not my problem. Alec looks stronger, physically. His arms are broader yet still lean enough for an archer, his hair is darker, darker than i remember. There is something strange, his general gaze, it's less forgiving, more like the Alec i met when i was a mundane, i hope that wasn't my fault too much.

Finally, the blond. Skylar already has her gaze fixed on him, analysing him. His eyes radiance ever present causing my body to shiver with hairs standing on their ends. His inquisitive view, how foolish of me to think i could ignore him in my time here, all i am doing now is searching for every possible emergency exit that there is. he hasn't changed much by appearance, still tall and muscular, he has a few more runes but no scars. Unlike me, from a mission five years ago in our time space, i was captured and got myself some nice slash marks on my back and front waist. Bye bye bikinis, well, without a glamour rune.

When that trauma was over we were shown to our rooms, Wisp is old enough to have her own room on missions now, so it is strange without her here. But, the new day awaits me, tomorrow, I will have to train like crazy for the mission, avoid Jace and everyone else who could find out it is me, and solve their entire demon problem. What could go wrong?


	12. XII Let the Training Begin

The room i have been put in is pretty similar to the old one i had here when i moved in, though a lot less artsy from my creative bursts. I still have a lot of those though. There is no window, just a cupboard, bed and chest of draws with a side table, bare of furnishings. There is no ensuite as they told us, guess I'll be racing the guys for dibs on first shower as we were told to share. Honestly, what has happened to good hospitality and service these days.

I put my tiny suitcase against the barren wall, place a seal on the door for no unwanted guests, and doze of to the wonderland of sleep awaiting the next day and morning training.

"RISE AND SHINE MY FELLOWS, TIME TO TRAIN AN..."

CRASHHH

"Aghhh" i say groggily waking up

"Which ASSHOLE wakes someone up like that, were not at demon training camp for the army, you know" i retort at the top of my lungs both out loud and through telepathy. If there ever was a message i wanted to send, it's that. Better than hairless ants.

Still, i take it as my queue that it is time for breakfast; Skye is probably already awake with breakfast ready so i get ready and go to meet everyone...

Dumbfounded, that the look i can see on their faces. Here, the almighty LunaThorns are eating breakfast together on a picnic blanket in the middle of our hallway full clocked and hidden. I'm not exactly sure what they think we look like... i dread to think. I admit it's pretty weird, but we felt like a picnic breakfast together and we don't feel like telling them our identities.

"Alright, I'd say that its about time to train" i add to the muffle of crunching and happy chewing sounds going on in the hall.

"Ok, I'll get the room clear for us" Sky jumps up and dances of to the training room, she's always been the most proactive, despite being an eighteen year old meant to be in their rebellious stage.

With that we all start to move towards the training room and let our bodies run wild with the adrenaline of fighting, for some reason, training never gives you the kick that real demon fights do; i wonder if i that's a side part of being strong enough for enjoying it to be so easy. I haven't had to try to hard in a real fight with majority of the demons we are scheduled to go up against here. The odd, 4 and 5 greater demons are easy these days on my own, and working as a team, were unstoppable. That is if, the blond jeering from behind me doesn't put my guard of too much. I guess Maryse wasn't joking when she offered money for us to train them. Jeez, were not a charity...

"Now now fire, your guard seems to be a little down, is there a certain flower over there catching your attention" Ayato sends telepathically, "i can always direct your attention elsewhere I'd if your hormones are struggling, here we go fire" he kicks my ankle with a round kick, grabs my waist and pushes me clean to the floor as i was processing his perverted line. He pushes himself towards me caging my body with his,"isn't this better, your attentions all changed now, you can always date me if you need a distraction" he says out loud for all the bloody room to hear.

I lean my head down to his ear "although I admire your perseverance Ayato, You should come up with better variety, almost all the girls on our missions hear a line like that. You may be, how do I say this, decent looking, but I'm off the dating profile." I decide a truthful answer can't hurt, there are so many lies in this room already. One protruding blonde to my left would be a prime example.

"Now, now, no need to hurt my pride fire, I'm more than decent, and I'm not kidding, i only flirted with you... this week"...

"My point proven, now get off me, this looks kinda dodgy and I'm uncomfortable with your 'oh so decent body' so close to mine"

It's not that I don't like a Ayato, we have our moments and although he'll never hear it, his company's something I look forward to.

Were In the training room at the moment, dulled down weapons, simple blades, daggers, spears and bows to match the newcomers.

Jack declares the situation to them of how we work, "alright newbies, right now, we're getting training with you out of the way as it's not much to look forward to, you don't even count as a warm up for us...however, the pay's good. We'll start of in pairs before moving on to an all in, everyone fighting everyone, no teams", well that was followed by some concerned looks, a noticeably strong frown and arm cross from you know who. "Starting pairs: Luna and weird archer boy, Blaze and the frowning blonde, Moon and creepy whip girl, Dusk and wisp, i'll be the great lookout.

So it began. Bladed unsheathed, daggers like leaves in air and arrows flying. I'm just thankful Jack didn't put me with Izzy, Alec or Jace. Who know what could have happened. Besides, my daughters power is a good matchup to my own, though we can't use our powers here, her skill set is very different from my own, it's good to have experience against all types of opening. Even the most powerful swordsman in the world would be useless if he fell to an attack of fire.

After the pair training is done, which took about an hour, Jack makes the call to move on to the all in fight. It helps those of us in the LunaThorns keep a steady tracker in our placements of skill level. Currently it's pretty much in age order, I'm definitely not old enough to surpass the others, though i can stand on equal ground.

"Swords are blazing, lets get started" Ayato signals the start of the battle, i wonder how long the newbies can last. I have no intention of going easy on easy on them.


End file.
